True Life: I’m a Free Agent

After the devastation of Hurricane Irma, my contract in the Virgin Island was canceled. 90% of the island was destroyed, including the airport. I was forced to evacuate to Puerto Rico and fly home to Houston. Sadly enough, I’ve actually written the blog about my experience in surviving a category five hurricane. I wrote about spending four days and three nights in the hospital with limited resources, how I safely transported patients off the island, how I came home to my beach front condo to discover my roof caved in, how I survived with no running water, no electricity, no cell phone service and just a mustard seed of faith. But…my heart won’t allow me to post it. I am still recovering.

Coming home was the best feeling in the world! My parents picked me up from the airport late Wednesday night and I was greeted with the warmest hug. My mom is a frequent flyer and she described it as, “The best trip to the airport ever.” The following morning, my mom told me she was planning a trip to Philadelphia for the weekend and invited me to join her. With no job and no real responsibilities, I agreed to meet her in Philly after visiting my friend Hannah in New York City!I’ve been to New York numerous times, but this was my first time going in the summer, so I was extremely excited. Hannah is such a perfect host; after I booked my flight, she took care of everything else! I flew in to Newark, NJ and rode a train to NYC. The train ride alone deserves its own blog, but I’m too embarrassed to share that experience. Once I arrived in NYC, I dropped off my bags and we went straight to Mr. Purple, a rooftop bar in the city with breathtaking views of the concrete jungle. If you’re ever in the city and weather permits, I highly suggest you add Mr. Purple to your to-do list. Hannah and I spent the afternoon sipping Rosé and catching up on girl talk. The views and the vibes confirmed my decision… I am absolutely taking an assignment in NYC and need to start working on my license STAT!
That evening, we met up with some of Hannah’s girlfriends at an Italian food festival and probably did more drinking than eating, but that’s not that point. Afterwards, we took a quick nap and went out for the evening. We went to The Delancey, Los Feliz, and Hotel Chantelle. If you don’t remember anything else, just remember Hotel Chantelle.

Sunday morning, we stopped at Birch coffee before meeting some of my girlfriends who were in town for brunch. The coffee was delicious, and I rarely give credit to any shops other than my beloved Starbucks, so you should probably take heed. We enjoyed brunch at Cask Bar and Kitchen. They had fresh muffins, eggs benedict and pitchers of mimosas…need I say more?After brunch, Hannah showed us around the city via subway; we went to Prospect Park and walked the Brooklyn Bridge. The older I get, the more I appreciate sight-seeing and bucket listing. Doing it all with friends is usually the icing on the cake!

Monday morning Hannah went to work and I headed to Philadelphia. Once I arrived in Philly, I linked up with the original Black Girl White Coat…my mom! After the traumatic experience I had in the Virgin Islands, a mother-daugher trip was certainly in order! My mom is such a carefree spirit; she renewed my strength to continue travel nursing. We flew back from Philadelphia to Houston and on the plane ride home, I kept thinking, “I can’t wait to get back on the horse”, to continue my love for traveling and set sail for my next adventure!We arrived home Wednesday night and I had a phone interview with Denver’s premier baby hospital Thursday morning! During the interview, the director asked me to describe a time when I was forced into a position that I didn’t feel prepared for. I shared my story of being charge nurse the morning that Irma hit the Virgin Islands and how I was forced into helping life flight our patients off the island. She was blown away and I was in tears. She said “Well, that was the best answer I’ve ever received.” The interview was over and three hours later my recruiter called me and said “Congratulations, you did it again.” I got the job!

It was then that I realized, I took no L’s on my assignment in the Virgin Islands. The islands made me stronger, more resilient and the experience alone helped me stand out amongst other eligible candidates. The Lord turned my test into my testimony and I am forever grateful.

 

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Meet Devyn Walker

As a black girl who suffers from undiagnosed anxiety, this quote hits all too close to home for me. Growing up, my mother always taught me to be strong, independent and fearless. As a black mom, she had to. She taught me to be twice as good as my counterparts to receive equal recognition. Those lessons have molded me into the fierce woman that I am today, but they have also caused me to silence some really obvious mental health issues. While I am still growing past the negative stigma associated with black women and mental illness, I have connected with someone who has mastered the art of taking lemons and making some pretty damn good lemonade…

Meet Devyn Walker; independent, college graduate, yoga instructor, counselor, diagnosed with major depression, generalized anxiety, and post traumatic stress disorder…
What life event(s) preceded your diagnosis? 

In  2011, I lost my father to suicide. I was in San Diego, California visiting my father for the summer and we had a pretty good time together. His death caught me off guard and I was not expecting it at all. Now that I look back on the situation the signs were actually there. He was giving away possessions that were special to him, he randomly took me to the gun range and taught me how to shoot a gun, and he initiated all these random conversations with me about dating and men. It was almost like he was trying to teach me everything he could before he passed away, almost like he planned it. My father passed away on August 22, 2011 and I remember that day vividly. I remember how I had this horrible feeling leaving the house when he told me to go shopping. I remember my stomach feeling like a bottomless pit when I was driving back home and I couldn’t figure out why I felt that way. I just knew something bad happened. I remember the smell of the gunpowder when I walked into the house. Lastly, I remember finding his lifeless body with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the temple. I don’t really remember anything else. Everything was a blur from that moment until about 2013. Sounds crazy right? But that’s how bad my diagnosis took over my life. It’s like overnight I had to grow up. I had to plan his funeral and as the oldest, I had to be strong for my younger siblings. It was definitely a life-changing situation for me and that one single event shaped me as a woman. Before 2011, I was a hot mess. I was hanging with the wrong crowd, getting into many physical altercations, and doing many other things I had no business doing at the age of 19.

When did you realize you needed to take charge of your mental health and seek professional help?

My mom made me start seeing a counselor and psychiatrist immediately after I made it back to Texas because I wasn’t sleeping, but I really wasn’t receptive of the process. I was numb and I isolated myself. I personally reached out for help in March 2012. I realized I needed help because I was smoking like crazy, constantly having nightmares, and I dropped down to 84 pounds because I couldn’t eat. During the time I was also prescribed an antidepressant and Xanax to help with the symptoms but they really weren’t helping at the moment. One very sunny and pretty day I remember the thought of taking all my pills just would not leave my mind. I just wanted to die at that very moment and I felt like I absolutely had no reason to live. Then I thought about my mom and how hard she was riding for me during that difficult time in my life. I told myself that I didn’t want my mom or anyone else that loved me to experience the pain that I was currently experiencing due to my dad’s suicide and I decided to just pop up at my primary care physician office to see if he could help. I was a mess when I made it, I couldn’t stop crying and it was like I was having an anxiety attack. I told him how every time I closed my eyes I just saw my dad’s body and I couldn’t stop having thoughts about taking my own life. Then he admitted me into the nearest hospital and I stayed there for a few days. The psychiatrist there diagnosed me with severe post traumatic stress disorder, general anxiety disorder, and severe major depression.

As an African American woman, have you experienced any negativity from the black community since speaking out on your diagnosis? 

That’s a very good question.  I experienced a little negativity but not as much as I expected I would. A lot of people told me I was brave, strong or that they experienced something similar. I do hear people speak negatively about mental illness and suicide in the black community often but when I share my story it usually gives them a different viewpoint. You know, we really don’t talk about mental health in our community so a lot of people think it’s courageous that I share my story.

In your darkest hour, what were some of your thoughts? How did you overcome them? 

During my darkest hour I thought that nobody loved me and I actually thought God didn’t love me either. I didn’t think anyone cared but then I thought about my mom. I knew if no one else loved me, my momma sure did. I didn’t want to hurt her. It wasn’t even about me at the moment. I saved myself because I didn’t want to hurt my mom.

Have you ever been in a mentally abusive relationship with a man? How did you cope with the issue?

Yes. I was in a mentally abusive relationship with a man during the time of my father’s death. My boyfriend at that time actually broke up with me about a week after my dad passed. A few months later he came back and me being vulnerable, I took him back. He would tell me he didn’t want to talk about the situation with my father when I was still trying to process things. He told me to just ‘shake’ off my depression and stop having nightmares. He also was not faithful throughout the majority of our relationship. I don’t hate him for it. We were both young and he didn’t understand what I was experiencing. Hell, I didn’t even understand it. He currently is not in my life at all and probably never will be but I still wish him the best.

As a yoga instructor, you take pride in how beneficial yoga has been to your mental and physical health. What benefits have you noticed?

Oooo chile! When I tell you yoga got me through this! It got me allllll the way through. After discussing it with my counselor, I decided to get off medication and find alternate coping methods. Yoga was one of those methods for me; hot yoga to be exact. I definitely did suck at it at first, but it was still my getaway. I learned how to meditate and escape. Yoga taught me how to breathe, how to let go, how to hold on, how to move on, how to love, and how to be me. This may sound weird but I really got to know myself through yoga. I learned my triggers. I learned how to calm myself down in certain situations. I also learned how take control of my life.

How has your faith helped you overcome your illness?

I’m not going to lie though, for a while I completely gave up on my faith. I was so angry with God and my dad. All I could think about was how could God let something so horrible happen to me? I slowly started back praying, then I started doing my daily devotionals and going to church again. My relationship with God is personal. I have my quiet time where I meditate, journal, pray and God speaks to me during that time or randomly.

You truly made the most out of life with the cards you were dealt by becoming a certified counselor. What are some of your long-term career goals and what do you plan to do with your certification? 

I am a certified rehabilitation counselor and I’m scheduled to take the national counselors exam to become a licensed professional counselor as well. I would like to start my own non-profit where I can combine yoga and counseling.

Through your blog, you inspire women to be the best versions of themselves; physically, emotionally, and mentally. What do you want any young lady suffering from mental health issues to know? 

Reach out for help sis. If you know your mental health is suffering, get some help! There is no excuse. There are FREE behavioral health insurances where you can get counseling and antidepressants for FREE! All you have to do is call your county’s crisis line and they will get you linked in. If you do not get help you will continue to have unhealthy cycles in your life. Once you do get help, remember it takes time. It’s 2017, and I’m finally at the point where I’m genuinely happy. That doesn’t mean I don’t have my moments though. Mental illness is similar to being addicted to drugs. You will relapse and have episodes, but the difference is after you start getting help you actually know how to deal and cope with those episodes. Your coping method may not be yoga, it may be kickboxing or taking an antidepressant may work for you, whatever it is just make sure you do it. Make sure you take care of yourself first and love yourself first because nobody else can do it for you!

If you or someone you know is suffering from mental health issues, please seek help. The Mental Health Crisis Hotline and National Suicide Prevention Lifeline are available 24 hours a day for anyone in need.

“What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life? The world would split open.” Thank you Devyn Walker, shine on!

 

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I Feel Like I’m Just Getting Started

As I mentioned in my previous post, June has always been a busy month for me; this year was no exception. I have honestly been dreading June 2017 for the past six months. I moved June 1st, my sister got married to her college sweetheart June 10th, I flew to Cabo San Lucas June 11th to celebrate my birthday on the 15th, and I flew back to serve as a bridesmaid for one of my best friends who got married June 17th. Whew! (Please don’t ask me what I was thinking in planing that one.)

In preparation for all the events of June, I took three weeks off from work. As much as I love my job, my time off has been a dream! I have been present for all the recent celebrations and was able to spend some much-needed quality time with my family. My birthday always falls in perfect time for my dad and I to celebrate Father’s Day and my birthday together. Every year on my birthday he asks me, “How does it feel to be another year older?” I usually respond with some generic, one worded answer; but this year felt so much different. I said, “It feels really good. I may be getting older, but I feel like I’m just getting started.”

Growing up, I always envisioned this perfect life for myself where I would go to college, have fun, meet my soulmate, get engaged at graduation, get a job, get married, buy a big house, and settle down all by the age of 25. BOY WAS I WRONG! This past year has shown me that I’m nowhere near where I expected to be, and that makes me so happy! I laugh at the thought of living that life I planned for myself. Like yes, I WANT ALL THOSE THINGS IN THE FUTURE (just in case my future hubby is reading this), but I have so much to do until then that I could never imagine settling down at tender age of 25, I am just getting started; I have barely touched the surface!

Since returning to the states on my birthday, I’ve had an array of feelings. I am tired, I have lost my voice numerous of times in the past two weeks, I have bruises that I can’t explain, and I think I may have broken my foot in Cabo; but most of all, I am feeling eternally grateful and BLESSED! Spending my 25th birthday in Mexico with some of my favorite girls taught me so much about life. On our last night, as we sat and had dinner together, I couldn’t help but just stare around the table and feel so extremely loved. I may be biased, but I think I have the best friends in the entire world! My life can get really crazy sometimes, but they always keep me grounded.

In addition to all the madness that June has brought, I have been working relentlessly behind the scenes for my next big project. I am overwhelmed with gratitude that the Lord saw fit to make me the beneficiary of these blessings. My next project keeps me up late at night, I’m constantly researching how I can excel and completely immerse in the opportunity, I’m always on the go in preparation, and I’m literally bursting at the seams holding in the news from you all. To my closest friends and family who have been praying for me, thank you. I can’t wait to share this adventure with you all. I love you all like crazy!

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It’s Not Your Time Right Now


Dear Sis,

It’s not your time right now and that’s okay!

The months of May and June have always been busy for me. May was filled with graduations, engagements, bachelorette parties, promotions, housewarmings, and gender reveals. I didn’t have anything exciting going on in my life, so naturally I felt like I was being left behind and everyone was being promoted except me! After much reflection, I realized two things: 1. The people I surround myself with are LIT! 2. I need to trust in God’s perfect timing.

I pride myself in the success of my friends, and it makes me SO happy to see them living their dreams! I truly believe, you are the company you keep. I much rather be surrounded by beautiful women who are living large and inspiring me, rather than women who are…not. I am constantly reminded of God’s word in Ecclesiastes 3:1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. In Tanisha translation it goes on to say: there is a time to work hard, and a time to relax; a time to stay down, and a time to come up; a time to celebrate your friends, and a time to be celebrated; a time to be young and single, and a time to be happily married; a time to be selfish, and a time to be selfless; a time to be the student nurse, and a time to be the HNIC (Google it).

Ultimately, I am so grateful that through my season of uncertainty I am able to celebrate other’s success. As women, we get so caught up on numbers thinking, “Wow, I’m 25-years-old, I still live in my parents house, I’m not working my dream job, and I’ve been single for X amount of years.” I encourage you to stop listening to those voices from satan and start trusting in the promises of the Lord. Grow where you are planted and allow God to use you in your current season! Maybe the Lord still has you in your parents house at 25 because He wants you to save for your mansion that is to come. Maybe you’re not working your dream job right now, making all that money you want because you’re not being a good steward of what He has blessed you with #ouch. Maybe you’re single because God is protecting your heart from a man that would emotionally drain you, cheat on you, and take away the time He needs from you to achieve your purpose (*cough cough* Tanisha Terry).

When people compliment me, label me as #goals or whatever else, I smile on the outside but cringe on the inside. Because truth is, YOU DON’T KNOW MY LIFE! You are only envious of this young and successful black girl that I portray myself to be; you don’t know what I had to do to get here, the things that keep me up at night, or the skeletons in my closet. We all have a chapter of our lives that we don’t read out loud. So just enjoy where you are NOW and stop focusing on where you aren’t. Whatever season you find yourself in, learn to seek for what God is trying to reveal to you. Often times, we can only gain clarity of God’s will by being still and quiet before Him. So, if you are in a “stagnant” season of your life, be grateful; it’s easier to hear from Him. Learn to prosper in whatever season life has you in. Remember that seasons change, it’s not your time right now… AND THAT’S OKAY!

Special thanks to the beautiful brides for sharing their photos featured above: Mrs. Virginia Steward, Ms. Tamika Terry and Mrs. Brittany Hayes
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Life Lessons Straight from the NICU

One night at work, I was drawing newborn labs when I had a realization. Newborn labs are a mandatory procedure that we do on all babies where we stick their heel to obtain a blood sample. While most babies usually let out a little cry, they are normally easily soothed. However, on this particular night, my baby was screaming to the top of her lungs! All the other nurses were looking at me like I had done something wrong and looking at the baby wishing she would be quiet. I continued drawing the blood while she continued to kick and scream. I thought I’d comfort her by saying, “It’s okay baby girl, it helps to cry it out sometimes.”

I instantly stopped what I was doing and realized I was talking to myself. I realized that I was pressing through life so hard; I was stuck on being this strong, unemotional, black woman that I had portrayed myself to be for so long that I was numb to my own needs. I had given so much to other people that I was loosing myself. Those that know me know I cry over everything, but rarely over myself.

That morning I came home, sat out on my balcony and allowed myself to cry it out… and it felt so good! I was able to be vulnerable and get real with myself about all the things that I had been holding in. The older I get, the more I am starting to realize that suppressing emotions is NOT healthy!  I’ve recently started seeing the negative effects of holding on to emotional baggage and I vow to never do it again. As I reflected on all the things that life threw at me last year, I realized I never gave myself time to cope with them. Last fall was rough for me, but it was also very busy. I was working relentlessly behind the scenes for my blog release in January while preparing to step out on faith and start my new job in February. I never gave Tanisha time to work on Tanisha and my life was starting to reflect it.

So I did what any #girlboss would have done; I took control over the areas of my life that I could and let go of the things that I couldn’t. I took one month off to focus on myself and it was BEAUTIFUL. I was able to spend some much needed time alone figuring out what I needed to do to make sure I was happy. I worked out more, I got more rest, I drank more water, and wholeheartedly practiced self-love. I no longer allowed negative situations to harden my heart, I simply dismissed them.

Taking a step back from life gave me clarity on the ugly characteristics of myself and the strength to work on them. It also allowed me to fall back in love with the beautiful characteristics that I almost lost in the process of pleasing others. The biggest lesson I learned was that it’s okay to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress at the same time!

 

 

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The Resilience of Black Girls

I pay tribute to my grandmother, my mom, my sisters, and other influential women in my life who have taught me the importance of resilience and the beauty in bouncing back from every situation! I have friends who have shared stories of losing family members in the worst of times, dealing with abusive relationships, and seasons of depression. While I am completely inspired by their triumph; I am not surprised!

We were birthed from adversity, our ancestors were slaves, and we were made to be resilient! I repeat: OUR ANCESTORS WERE SLAVES! We overcame slavery, segregation, and oppression! Who does that?! I’m not saying that other races aren’t capable of being great. I’m just saying, there’s something extra special about black girls and I’m happy the world is finally starting to realize it! Black girls have been lit before being lit was a thing. The world did itself a huge disservice by telling us what we couldn’t do; because that’s exactly what we’re doing! We are breaking through glass ceilings and destroying every limitation that was ever placed on us.

It’s a beautiful thing to overcome every obstacle that was meant to destroy you. People who wanted to see me fail have been given front row tickets to watch me succeed. I have faced adversity, I have been pushed to my limits, but I never quit! I am so grateful to be at a point in my life where are all my setbacks are adding up. Every time I receive new blessings, I gain an understanding of past mistakes.

This blog allows me to admit, “I’VE MADE MISTAKES AND MY LIFE ISN’T PERFECT,” but I’m making the most of it because the world wants me to stay down; but I refuse! Once you become a diamond, you’ll see why life had to pressure you. So I encourage you to keep fighting through whatever you’re going through. Keep grinding, keep shining, because we’re resilient black girls and…

“We may bend but we never fold.”

 

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Life Update

So I originally wanted to sit down and write about my trip to Denver (pictured above), but after further review, it turns out a life update is more appropriate!

1. Work Life

In short, work has been fun! It has challenged me in ways I never imagined so soon but I am loving every second of it! The other week, I attended a delivery and it was so crazy I literally got one of my braids pulled out my head. So, there’s that! This week, I’m meeting with my manager to discuss my upcoming promotion and my plans to sit for my RNC this summer! Ahhh! So exciting!

2. Blog Life

The blog has been keeping me busy but I’m enjoying it! Last week I had an event, a photo shoot, and was featured on two different nursing websites! Who am I?! I’m starting to grow a little community within the blog and y’all have made it so fun! Sitting at home responding to all your emails and DMs has been very rewarding. I’m learning that I need to start posting more content about my nursing school journey because y’all have A LOT of questions about it!

3. Home Life

As crazy as it seems, I’m approaching two years in my little high-rise and I’m ready for a new adventure! I have about a month to figure out what the heck I’m gonna do next! Should I move home and travel the world? Buy a house? Get a townhouse with my girlfriends? Do I wanna live close to work and be suburban? Or stay in the city like a normal 24-year-old? The possibilities are endless!

4. Love Life

Lol life is just crazy ya know!? One day I’m in love, the next day I get nauseated at the thought of being tied down. Just be in prayer I find balance, thanks!

5. Travel Life

Denver was a blast! I suggest anyone who appreciates the outdoors and loves adventure to add it to your bucket list! As our uber driver stated, “There’s no sense of urgency” in Denver. He was so right! People just aren’t in a rush to do anything, I couldn’t live in a place like that but I really enjoyed my visit! We woke up late everyday, lost track of time, and just went with the flow. It makes sense that such a beautiful place like Denver has that vibe; there’s so much to see, you have to slow down a bit to take it all in.

P.S. Y’all know I live for little life lessons. So the other day I walked in the nail salon, and my regular technician wasn’t available. Tragic. The owner proceeds to sit me down while I picked my color. I look up, and this tall, extremely masculine man sits in front of me and starts doing my nails. I want to leave at this point because I had such an eventful weekend coming up. How dare they let this new man do my nails?! Welp, just as fate would have it, I let him do my nails, and it was the most perfect shellac manicure I have ever received! So, learn from me and my lessons from the nail salon. Don’t judge a book by its cover. Let the linebacker do your nails and thank me later!

 

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Will Work For Louboutins

3b481816857c7c8b97e7d1719a310e76Since I was 17 years old, I have always wanted a pair of the most coveted Christian Louboutins. After landing my first big girl job, reality set in that I was no longer a poor college student and that I could actually afford them. One Friday evening, I walked into Neiman Marcus looking like I belonged at A’gaci and picked out the all black, patent leather, “So Kates.” The salesman came over to me as said, “One can only dream of owning those shoes.” I smiled and asked, “Do y’all have them in a size 38?”

Some would consider it overly dramatic that I tried on the shoes and literally felt like Brandy from Cinderella. The shoes fit perfectly and I knew I had to get them. Buying my first pair of Louboutins was monumental!  It was my unsaid way of telling everyone “I WILL WORK FOR WHATEVER I WANT…AND SO CAN YOU!”

I’ve never been afraid of a little hard work because I’ve always reaped the benefits. Being a #girlboss means you are in charge of making YOU happy! I’m a firm believer in making myself happy….unapologetically! As long as you are living within your means, you are entitled to spend your money however you choose. So ask yourself, what makes you happy, $700 Louboutins, a $2,000 Gucci bag, a lavish vacation? Whatever it is, “Beat the odds, do numbers and remain humble!” Cheers to all my fellow hard-working ladies with no sugar daddy financing your lifestyle, you rock. Don’t ever change!

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21 Times Black Girls Slayed

1. TGFLOTUSTEDO (The greatest FLOTUS to ever do it, duh) Mrs. Michelle Obama!

2. Remember when Simone Biles completely slayed the entire Summer ’16 Olympics? Baby girl is MAGIC!

3. If you’ve never seen this picture, these are TWO DAUGHTERS AND ONE MOM! They broke the internet with this picture that had people all over the world debating which one is the mom, and I STILL don’t know!

4. Mae Carol Jemison is an American engineer, physician and NASA astronaut. She became the first African-American woman to travel in space when she went into orbit aboard the Space Shuttle Endeavour on September 12, 1992.

5. Iyore Olaye graduated as the only black woman Chemical Engineer In Cornell University’s 2016 Class and I cried real tears reading her Facebook post.

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6. Hazel Winifred Johnson-Brown was a nurse and educator who served with the U.S. Army. In 1979 she became the first black chief of the United States Army Nurse Corps.

7. Zim Ugochukwu is the beauty behind Travel Noire; her pictures are breathtaking and always give me extreme wanderlust vibes.

8. Gabby is my spirit animal and living proof that “Black Don’t Crack”. Homegirl is 44 y’all! NBD

9. One of my favorite bloggers, Courtney Brand posing for “Fashion Weak”. She is beauty, brains, and boss all wrapped into one on Thebwerd.com.

10. Rosa Parks was an American civil rights activist, whom the United States Congress called “the first lady of civil rights” and “the mother of the freedom movement”. #RedLipRosa

11. Remember when Kerry Washington wore this white cape on Scandal?  Yes Oliva, handle it!

12. Angel Rice is a two-time World Cheerleading Champion and a USA Gymnastics National Power Tumbling Team Member. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve never seen this beauty, so I introduce to you: Angel Rice…  

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13. Taraji P Henson at the SAG awards, I die.

14. Remember Ms. Racia Poston broke the internet with her graduation photo shoot? Baby girl is a Tennessee State University Alumnus and is also: in the U.S. Army, a member of Delta Sigma Thea Inc., Student Government Association President, a former Miss Collegiate 100, and a first generation college graduate!

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15. Ruby Nell Bridges Hall is an American activist known for being the first black child to desegregate the all-white William Frantz Elementary School in Louisiana.

16. My fellow Black Girl White Coat Lauren Lacquer is a Harvard grad, wife, MD, mother of three, and blogger so lets all just take a second to appreciate her greatness.

17. Meet Mikaila Ulmer, the 11-year-old girl who scored an $11million deal with Whole Foods to
sale her Lemonade.

18. It should be no surprise that my sweet Sister-In-Law, Craneshia made the cut. She is beautiful inside and out and was flawless on her big day!

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19.  Marjorie Harvey is the epitome of style and grace! “C’mon on Marjorie, give ’em legs, shine on!”

Beautiful cream and red plus size prom dress:

20. I included this beauty on her prom night because 1. She’s gorgeous and 2. She’s flaunting her curves and using them to her advantage!

21. Misty  Copeland is an American ballet dancer. In 2015 she was promoted principal dancer, thereby becoming the first black female principal in the 75-year history of the American Ballet Theatre. *cough cough* #blackgirlmagic

We are a dominate race; and when you come from dominate genes… you tend to dominate things!

 

 

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Block His Number and Love Yourself

Sis,

Let me be real and raw with you, 2016 was a rough year for me! The heartaches, the aftermath of an ugly breakup, and all the “randoms” in-between left me drained. I was literally just proud of myself for going through it all and still remaining loyal and true to myself! At the end of 2016 I had zero people on my block list. After hours of reflecting and goal setting I realized that needed to change. I’ve always been a woman of second chances (and by second, I mean 27,501,948). But I finally decided enough was enough!!

One of my favorite bloggers, Heather Lindsey defines a “random” as a person you KNOW you’ll never marry but you date them to fill a void because you’re lonely or bored. A random is that ex boyfriend that is still trying to EMOTIONALLY connect with you. A random is an unhealthy relationship.

I had the realization that every relationship that I was not growing from was hurting me, whether it seemed like it or not. I realized that each time I dated a “random”, went out with someone for a free meal, or entertained a man I KNEW I had no future with was draining me. Each time I let a “random” in and out my life they left with pieces of me…and I was tired of it!! So one day I woke up, and I decided I was ready for a change. I made a vow to myself to block the “randoms”, STOP stalking my exes on social media, and love myself! After months of debating the situation and giving excuses as to why I should continue to entertain certain men, I just cut it, and it was really that simple!

Moving into the New Year, I am excited for what is to come from making these changes. I am excited to get back to doing the things I genuinely love, as well as focusing on myself and the woman I want to be for my future husband. I rest on God’s promise that “What God has for me is for ME, and there is nothing that anyone can say or do to change that.” Meaning, my fate has already been decided. So why should I waste my time jumping from random to random when there’s a whole world out there that needs to be conquered?  In short, I know that I BRING THE TABLE TO THE TABLE and I’m not afraid to eat alone!

 

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